Adoption Language

The way that we talk and the words we choose say a lot about what we think.  While it may seem like our terms don’t matter or that we can use a variety of words interchangeably, that isn’t always the case.  Using positive adoption language shows that we believe adoption is a wonderful, acceptable way to build a family.  Using positive adoption language also shows that we value all people involved in adoption.

We will be using the following, positive adoption language in our home, and ask that those who support and love us do the same.  While it may seem that we’re focusing on being “politically correct,” more than anything we are focusing on using language that will be most beneficial to our child and that stops the spread of misconceptions regarding adoption.  The following list of positive adoption language is taken directly from Adoptive Families.

“Choose the following, positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you will reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.

Positive Language

Birth Parent

Biological Parent

Birth Child

My Child

Born to Unmarried Parents

Terminate Parental Rights

Make an Adoption Plan

To Parent

Waiting Child

Birth Father; Biological Father

Making Contact With

Parent

International Adoption

Adoption Triad

Permission to Sign a Release

Search

Child Placed for Adoption

Court Termination

Child with Special Needs

Child from Abroad

Was Adopted

Negative Language

Real Parent

Natural Parent

Own Child

Adopted Child; Own Child

Illegitimate

Give Up

Take Away

To Keep

Adoptable Child; Available Child

Begettor

Reunion

Adoptive Parent

Foreign Adoption

Adoption Triangle

Disclosure

Track Down Parents

An Unwanted Child

Child Taken Away

Handicapped Child

Foreign Child

Is Adopted


Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings. When a TV show or movie talks about a “custody battle” between “real parents” and “other parents,” society gets the wrong impression that only birth parents are real parents and that adoptive parent’s aren’t real parents. Members of society may also wrongly concluded that all adoptions are “battles.”

Positive adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these. By using adoption language, we educate others about adoption. We choose emotionally “correct” words over emotionally-laden words. We speak and write in positive adoption language with the hopes of impacting others so that this language will someday become the norm.”

 

If you have any questions regarding these terms, or other terms that we may use here on the blog or in conversation, please let us know.  We’d love to share more!